Waiting by the Wall
by Avile
Summary: Sakura finds love harder to find these days, but atleast she knows where to look. KakaSaku


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters

**Waiting by the Wall**

_Chapter 1_

Her breath was quickening yet she hadn't moved. Sticky pink tresses stuck to her forehead and neck and her palms were raw from clenching and unclenching. Cool breezes flew past only a few feet away. But she was sheltered by the apartment hallway outer walls, unable to feel the refreshing feeling against her face.

How did this happen? How did she find herself here again, waiting for him? Her pained fingers had to cover the burning feeling crossing from her eyes to her cheeks and lips. Hold on, hold on. You can't be the victim of irony. The thread of reason and self control snapped, causing her to lurch once and fall into tears.

'_Don't you cry, damn you, don't cry'_ His voice in her head. Fresh, demanding, yet warm. Her head, tilting back, hit his apartment door from behind. How long had she been standing here? Standing outside his apartment door? Trying to find the strength to see what she had tried to save, her possession.

Spinning around on her already-twisted right ankle, she faced the door fully and slammed both of her beaten and red knuckles into it. The sound echoed down the hallway, loud than soft and muffled. Once the silence returned, she felt hollow and fell to her knees in a slump. How did she find herself here again? Beaten hands returned to cover her face once more. He was in there, she knew, she felt him. But she would dare not open the door.

Her voice spilt from her mouth with a burst of emotion, forceful and formless at first, but then, more structured.

"… Ka- Kakashi … Open the door for me!"

* * *

It was a Tuesday, no, a Monday during the first couple weeks of June. They were all returning home: Naruto, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Neji. All four of them had volunteered to travel towards the Cloud region in hopes of finding a band of ninjas carrying information about recent nin assassinations occurring in both the Mist and Fire countries. Sakura was willing to join them, but Tsunade hesitated and chose a different Medical Nin instead. Of course, Sakura was distraught and frustrated with her teacher's decision to replace her pupil with another less-experienced nin. Tsunade has yet to provide a valid explanation.

But today, they would start to return home and the distraught was quickly being replaced with anxiety. Neji was coming home, her Neji. It had been 23 months since Neji had first took her to the Fire Country walls and told her that his love for her was the strongest it had ever been. It was such a different kind of love than the lust she had for Sasuke. Neji and she were both so different and they confined in each because of just that. It was a beautiful friendship that was obviously growing into something that neither could live without.

Sakura now stood in front of her bathroom mirror, reaching behind her to clip her messy tresses back with detailed concern. Every moment or so, she would look to the empty space beside her and think of Neji. This mission had been one of the longer ones. Two to two and a half months, she supposed. Every couple days, she would have a letter sent to her from Neji. No one letter was the same. Some contained hilarious outtakes of Naruto or Kakashi. While others brought her to tears in realization of how much she missed him. These letters were seemingly sacred to her, piled up neatly beside her nightstand and each was memorized from countless days of reading and re-reading.

With a knock at the door, Sakura tore away from her bathroom, grabbed her coat and answered it to see Lee standing before her. The excitement on his face was apparent, fueling her own face to smile as well.

"They should be within a few miles now. I wondered if you wanted to go wait by the wall", Lee spoke with an air of professional. Out of everyone, all the teams, he had been the unexpected mature one and Sakura looked up to him because of that. Lee and Sakura's friendship had grown as well, thanks to her relationship with Neji. Sakura would dare not spar with him, knowing his vast knowledge and experience. Instead, they would spend the weekends together during times when teams were away, such as this.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to come" Sakura replied, reaching back only to grab her keys before stepping out and sliding the door behind her.

It was sweet irony to feel that today was going to be warm and comfortable; A beautiful welcome home. As Sakura and Lee continued out of her apartment complex, they talked about trivial topics including any childish gossip Kiba was spreading or the budding flower business that Ino had decided to start up a few weeks prior. But every few moments, there would be silence as their anticipation spoke for itself.

Sakura was biting her lip as they neared the giant front walls of the city. He would be here soon, the thought rang into her mind. To be able to see his face, run fingers through his hair, tell him everything that he has missed. Sakura was one to nearly explode when reuniting with friends. But she had to teach herself to stay calm. Neji had always said that heightened emotions were just a weakness, that crying was a weakness. Maybe by acting as professional as Lee, she could impress him for a gift.

With a sudden stop, they both lept up and onto the tops of the outer wall, looking almost out of routine. Finding a comfortable crouching position, Sakura settled rather quickly, keeping her eyes focused to the long narrow path leading out past the main gate. That's where they will be coming from, any minute. She couldn't tear her eyes away neither calm herself as she tapped her fingers randomly beside her.

The annoying beats caught Lee's attention and he laughed towards her appearance. "Be calm, Sakura. After waiting for months, being forced to wait a few minutes should not be a problem for you"

With the sound of the sudden voice of Lee's, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand, only defining her heightening emotions.

"I am calm. I'm fine. I can wait. It's not a problem" Sakura spoke in short sentences, trying to breathe more slowly to better convince him

Lee decided not to push, merely nodded, and turned away. A few more minutes of silence passed and he spoke again. "He loves you, you know"

Turning her head back to him, she felt a slower feeling of calm with the subject of Neji. Smiling, she said simply. "I know"

Lee would dare not look to her, keeping watch on the pathway for both of them. "… It seems too perfect, doesn't it? … You're both seen as inspirations"

Sakura smirked in response to his comment. It did seem too perfect. But that's how it was suppose to feel. She didn't turn back to the path, keeping her eyes on Lee then lowering to the ground below them.

In reality, Lee had more to say. The relationship that Sakura had was such an inspiration because it was so rare of type. Ninjas can barely keep any sort of relationships under such mission-like circumstances. Usually both are away on different assignments. Some require years of time or more. It was remarkable that two strong ninjas were able to stay together for as long as they have. His thoughts snapped as he suddenly heard a gasp from the woman beside him. Sakura had looked back to the path, hearing rustling, lots of rustling. Then, appearing down the path was a familiar face, causing her to stand jolt-like.

The silver-haired man progressed quickly with others following behind him and stopped a few feet in front of the gate, offering a wave to the guards before allowed passage through. There were too many people, Sakura could not see face from her height. Naruto stood out like a sore thumb and he looked up to her weakily before passing through. Lee had said something lowly to her, but she did not listen as she dropped down to meet them near Tsunade.

Families of other returning nins met them there as well. In reality, it was a mess of people and she had to swim through them quickly as she regained her balance. Her eyes were in a jolting frenzy, looking from one to another. She was slowly forgetting Neji's words about her emotions. Dark hair was everywhere, in all different shapes and heights. But each had a different, foreign face.

Finally, the silver haired man was found again, talking to Tsunade. He didn't see her right away, but soon he turned to watch her come into view. Sakura's smile was wide, while Kakashi's was hidden. Rushing towards him, she, once again, forgot to hide her emotions and wrapped her arms around the tops of his shoulders in an embrace.

"Kakashi-san … How are you? How was the trip home?" She spoke against his ear, attempting to whisper through the ocean of noise.

Kakashi was silent and slow in bringing his arms around her only slightly. His mouth was brought to her ear as he was about to speak. He didn't say anything at first even as Sakura attempted to move away. But his slight grip on her upper back kept her still. 'Just a few more seconds', he thought. Sakura's smile faltered slightly at first and looking over Kakashi's shoulder, she could see Lee standing solely with a strikingly blank expression. Both actions puzzled her at first, than fright began to take hold.

Kakashi's grip stayed as his chin bent down to rest on her shoulder, even as Sakura's arms began to slide away from his figure. 'What … What is it?' Sakura cried to herself.

"… Kakashi?" She asked, still watching Lee from where she stood weakily. The crowd was almost fully dispersed and she dared her eyes to move away. Her face turned, scanning the area. Naruto was there, but he did not look to her. He simply continued on. Sasuke was not to be seen, maybe he had already hurried home. But, "Neji?"

Kakashi's breath was warm against her shoulder and he moved quickly, lifting his gaze but looking forward. "He's not coming home" His voice echoed in a whisper

Sakura's eyes did not move, now following Naruto as he progressed further into town, not looking back. Her grip slowly increased as she began to force herself away from Kakashi. Her voice was being caught without her knowing. Her eyes were narrowing, her brow being furrowed.

She breathed a laugh. "Of course he is. Of course Neji is coming back" Turning her face forward, she could see Lee progressing towards them. Waiting for Kakashi's to speak was tearing her voice even more. "… O-of course" Where is he? He's coming home. He's going to be here. Her eyeline had slid towards the closing front gates, watching Neji's entrance back home being shut off. As the gates finally shut fully, Sakura's emotions began to spill over. She moaned out loud, shifting to move away. Kakashi almost obliged, but caught her hands at the last moment.

_Keep your emotions under wraps. That way you will always be safe, even when I'm not there with you_

Slowly, Sakura began to struggle in his grasp, her hair being shaken, and her wrists writhing against his grip. Slamming down her right foot, she was able to speak again. "You liar! Kakashi, you lying son of a bitch! Where the hell is he! What did you do! Neji? Neji!"

Objects, faces were beginning to stir and spin and she felt her weight being held up by Kakashi's grasp. Even with Kakashi's face covered, the narrow look was visible with a hurt eye glaring down at her. Lee was running over, hearing footsteps fall beside her.

"Sakura stop. Stop this." The last to be heard was Kakashi's calm voice, responding to her own. Her eyesight was already dark and she felt her heartbeat slowing in her ears, but she swore that Neji was there, speaking, instead.

_What are you doing today? How is Tenten? And Lee? I hope you've been taking care of yourself. Even looking at your picture here, I feel like I'm already losing the image of your face._

_I hope that doesn't happen._

* * *

The next few nights were pain-stakingly long, ending the exact same way as the night before. Dreams about letters, about his letters, swam through her mind in the middle of the night, echoed through the morning and early afternoons, and tortured her in the evenings.

It was Sunday. She was not able to leave her house, talk to anyone, or go on any sort of mission. Lee would come by every now and then with groceries. He was there Friday morning when Sakura awoke. Her eyes opened in a gasp, awaking from a dream about one of the later letters he had written. Her breathing slowed a few moments later, coming into the routine of occurrences.

"I thought today would be a good day to bring you breakfast" Lee's voice was warm against the cold thoughts in her mind. Sitting up, she did not speak nor move her head towards him. She simply shook her head and left it at that.

Lee watched her from across the room, sitting upon the window sill. "Do you want to take a walk outside? I might rain later. Now is the best time to go" But, once again, only a shake of her head and nothing more. Lee sighed, losing the battle once again. "I understand." He paused for a moment, shifting to stand, "Tsunade called me, I should go to see her. But I'll come check on you later" Lee kept his eyes on her even as he crossed the room. It was not the best of feelings to leave her this way, but he knew she was not one to do anything crazy. Slowly, he slid the door closed, leaving her be.

Sakura's mind was slowing now that Lee was gone. He had left the window open, allowing a chilling breeze to enter. This was just an excuse to get out of bed and go close it. She knew that he hated to see her neglect her work. But what did he expect, honestly?

Shifting out of bed, she obliged to his request to get out of bed and shuffle into the kitchen. She knew she wasn't hungry nor thirsty. Aimlessly, she simply checked through the cupboards with nothing to search for. Something, anything to get her mind off an unwanted subject.

Defeated, she shuffled back into the bedroom, feeling the instant breeze from the open window. It was chilling and wild, causing her face to turn away and towards the door instead. There was no way that she would go outside today. She despised the cold, now more than ever.

Keeping her eyes to the doorway, she saw a shadow pass by from the crack near the floor. But instead of continuing on, the shadow stayed, silently. The breeze halted and nothing was left besides silence. When the loud knock came, she caught her breath rather sharply, quickly covering her mouth. No. No, she was not ready to see anyone. Not yet. Again, there was a knock at the door and more silence.

Finally, it looked as if the shadow would move and she lowered her hands in relief. As she turned back into the kitchen a sound of sliding paper caused her to freeze and slowly turn back. The shadow was gone, but sliding through the bottom of the door was an object. A letter.

It shouldn't be anything to cause her to worry, it was only the mailman. Expect for that fact that it was Sunday. There isn't suppose to be any mail today.

* * *

Well, this is my first fic in a while. I hope I find time for this one. In the next couple chapters, I hope to include more KakaSaku. I know this chapter might seem a bit slow, sorry about that .

Anyways, I should have the next one up in a week or so.

-Avile


End file.
